Though the relationship with the client exists and needs to be maintained throughout the entire engagement, it is paved in discovery. This is something that we initially overlooked at Benmore — or, more accurately, underestimated in importance. To define what we think is a secure and functional client relationship, it’s simple: does the client trust the lead of the project, and does the client trust the organization? If these two concepts are true, then everything in the engagement will run much smoother. That sentence is not hyperbolic — essentially everything in the engagement will run better. When thinking about building and managing a relationship, directionally everything should be aimed at personal and organizational trust.

Relationships, in any aspect of life, are extremely complex to even identify and diagnose, and even harder to manage. If we are to document a procedure, there are a couple macro points that are generally true. First, presentation matters, and the medium of presentation also matters. There are some obvious things at play here: in a virtual context, making sure that internet connection is stable, that cameras are on and framed correctly, that lighting is appropriate. Proper dress attire, attentiveness, an authoritative tone, preparedness, and professional communication also matter at the individual level. Certain mediums are more effective at portraying presentation as well. Physical meeting engagements tend to speed up the trust process faster when it comes to presentation than virtual ones. However, regardless of the environmental medium, the delivery vehicle of information is extremely important. There is a reason why a comedic outlook toward PowerPoint presentations has developed in recent years. Without understanding of the importance of presentation, yes, literal presentations seem to be an outcome of performative corporate business practices, but the portrayal of information in an organized, well-designed medium is perhaps one of the best ways to indicate care and can quickly accelerate the relationship and trust process. However, simply nailing down presentation won’t do much for you over time (though it can do more than most people tend to think) — communication and demeanor are also key.

A common problem that we encounter is that we are essentially putting new grads in front of successful business owners or stakeholders and mandating that they develop a relationship with clients predicated around authority, expertise, and trust. This is extremely hard to develop, and if not done correctly, will quickly evolve into an employee-employer relationship. The analogy that we like to use is that, as experts and consultants, we must position ourselves in a relationship that mirrors a lawyer-client engagement. If this relationship isn’t established, the entire project will be much more burdensome than necessary and could become unfeasible. However, though our team may have the expertise and knowledge to position themselves in this type of relationship, it’s extremely hard, as a new grad, to communicate and carry yourself as someone who commands this type of dynamic. There are a couple things that can be done to establish this positioning. First and foremost: value-driven communication. As a lead, it’s extremely important to understand your personal values and boundaries and understand the business’s values and boundaries. At Benmore, we value honesty, operating in good faith, care and pride in work, expertise, long-term business decisions, and collaborative long-term partnerships. If any of those values are threatened by a client, it’s extremely important to — even abrasively — stand your ground. If we don’t think that a client is operating in good faith, there may not even be a discussion; the engagement will be terminated. Similar to all the other values, these cannot be trespassed. At the personal level, it’s important to perform some introspection and determine: what are your values? What will you stand on? Then defend them unapologetically.

In an example, one of our team members felt that a client was being passive aggressive and disrespectful to them. They, appropriately, made it extremely clear — with examples — that they would not tolerate this type of treatment and would be willing to, with organizational support, cancel the engagement. Though this is harsh to deliver in the moment, that project went on to be one of our most productive engagements. At a psychological level, operating with this mindset portrays that you respect your talent, you respect your organization, and that, frankly, you’re not going to take any shit. There’s also a difference between portraying this arrogantly and respectfully. In the above example, if the team member were to give rationale as to why they needed to be respected, that could trend toward arrogance. “Do you know who I am? I went to X school. I did X projects, you’ve done nothing, don’t ever talk to me like that…” versus “Hey X, I wanted to have a brief conversation about something that I’ve noticed in relation to this project. First, I want to say that this may come across as a bit abrasive, but this does threaten the outcome of the project so I feel the need to raise concern. Yesterday, when you said X, frankly I didn’t appreciate your tone or the way that you spoke to my team. We are here to do a job, and disrespecting myself and my team directly throws a wrench into the engagement. Furthermore, at a personal level, I will not tolerate that behavior. I have talked to my manager, and we are willing to walk away from this project if we experience another instance of disrespect. Is that understood?” Again, difficult, sure, but you are clearly communicating your values and boundaries respectfully, and willing to walk away if something doesn’t change.

The Trust Framework: Building a Lawyer-Client Dynamic

                             TRUST
                               ▲
                               │
       ┌───────────────────────┼───────────────────────┐
       │                       │                       │
       │                       │                       │
  PRESENTATION            COMMUNICATION             VALUES
       │                       │                       │
       │                       │                       │
  ┌────┴──────────┐     ┌──────┴───────────┐    ┌──────┴──────────┐
  │               │     │                  │    │                 │
  │  • Camera on  │     │  • Value-driven  │    │  • Know your    │
  │               │     │                  │    │    values       │
  │  • Proper     │     │  • Direct and    │    │                 │
  │    dress      │     │    transparent   │    │  • Know your    │
  │               │     │                  │    │    boundaries   │
  │  • Good       │     │  • Authoritative │    │                 │
  │    lighting   │     │    tone          │    │  • Defend them  │
  │               │     │                  │    │    unapolog-    │
  │  • Prepared   │     │                  │    │    etically     │
  │               │     │                  │    │                 │
  │  • Visual     │     │                  │    │                 │
  │    assets     │     │                  │    │                 │
  │               │     │                  │    │                 │
  └───────────────┘     └──────────────────┘    └─────────────────┘


  GOAL: Client sees you as their LAWYER, not their EMPLOYEE.

Benmore Values (Non-Negotiable):

If any value is threatened, address it immediately. If it can’t be resolved, escalate.

Many times — not maliciously — clients tend to naturally push boundaries, so it’s important to constantly identify and communicate when boundaries are being crossed or trending that way. You are a lead. You are put in a position of responsibility, and you have a mandate to be treated as such. You can’t force anyone to treat you that way, but you can make it clear what your expectations are.

We’ve got the overarching stuff out of the way. Let’s lay out a process to follow in relation to discovery.